Soulmates: A Reality or A Torture Device?

"According to Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two seperate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." - Plato's The Symposium

When do you know that this person that you call 'other half' is really as people call it now a days: "the one". What reliable process does a person retain in order to know that their other half is the person that they plan on spending their entire life with. But I guess as my friend said recently, "when you know, you know". I'm just not sure that's enough information to tell oneself that this is your soulmate.

Society today has thrown this term 'soulmate' so loosely that I think people don't really know exactly what it is. Many of us have pondered on this concept, but honestly what is a soul mate? Do I have one? And if so, where is mine? The idea that there is one special person created just for you, is just a very very scary thought. 

Love is not logical, it is of the soul. Soulmates are brought into your life so that you can grow and expand into the best version of yourself. 

So, when do you know that you've stumbled across this soulmate of yours? 

Simply put, you don't. That's what makes the journey of love so exciting. You can be attracted to any person, you could have the same interests and hobbies, but that doesn't necessarily make them your soulmate. Your soulmate is your "other you", and no matter when you find them, they are always worth the wait.

But until then, we are searching or waiting for the one to arrive and let's just hope that 'the one' makes a grand entrance upon arrival. 

Till Next Time:

C

Love Knows No Color

I have been away for some time and now I'm back, with a topic that I've finally been waiting to write about. 

I am blessed to live in a beautiful and diverse country in which people are able to express themselves through art,music,dance,rhetoric etc. I am blessed to live in a country where it is filled with people who have come from dissimilar walks of life, but sadly enough, these diverse unique people are too afraid to share their life with another person who happens to be of a different race or religion. It upsets me that in a diverse country, people are too 'afraid' and this leaves me wondering, are we really diverse as we state we are? Are we really willing to accept each other's values and embrace each other's heritages? 

Recently I was engaged in a discussion with a "vanilla" boy who told me that he could never date out of his race as he is too afraid of what will happen. Another conversation happened with a "chocolate" girl who believed that dating out of your race means that you wouldn't see eye to eye as white and black are two different colors. In the 21st century, it is shocking to see that color/race is still an important concept. Surely if I have the same blood color and other features that equate to being termed as "human", then surely color shouldn't be an issue. 

So I provide a challenge to you, my fellow reader. Imagine a situation where you are in a relationship with a person who is of different race or religion to you and imagine the person being the perfect compatiable match that you are looking for. Imagine this situation, and ask yourself would you proceed in this great relationship based on the persons character that could bestow a great relationship or would you simply admit defeat based on the conclusion that this persons skin color clouds your judgement.

I am a black woman who likes white, colored and Indian men. It doesn't mean that I don't like my own race. It means I'm a black woman who doesn't let race get in the way of my happiness. 

Don't let that happen to you. Be open minded. See the world differently. 

14 Reasons to Celebrate your singleness this Valentines Day

Valentines day is coming up and a lot of people have been talking about being forever alone(like me) and not being able to do something on the 14th of February. But after being single for a very long time, I came to realize that it isn't a bad thing after all. So I came across fourteen reasons why you should be happy that you are single! 

1) You're so brave, you'd rather walk alone than with someone who is unworthy of you. 

2) Because you realize that you are the cake and a relationship is the icing... And with or without the icing, a cake is still a cake! 

3) Because you have created a life that you love and feel no need to be rescued from. 

4) Because you pay your own bills, plan your own day, chart your own path, and make your own way. 

5) Because you love when you're ready, not when you're lonely. 

6) Because you live life on your own terms and you don't apolgize. 

7) Because you know that you have to learn to LOVE you before you can ask someone else to. 

8) Because good enough isn't "good enough" for you. 

9) Because you have decided that whether or not love ever arrives... You're going to THRIVE. 

10) Because your happiness, worth, and self-confidence is not dependent on your relationship status. 

11) Because you trust in perfect timing, you know that every moment of the wait is preparing you for the one you're waiting for. 

12) Because for you, settling is not an option. 

13) Because you know it's no one's job to complete you, fix you, or validate you. It takes a healthy "me" to make a healthy "we." 

14) And because being single is not as bad as people make it out to be. 

Single or not, enjoy the 14th of Feb. Love yourself, celebrate the love you share with others. 

Love

Candice.C

Out with the Old & In with the New

Do you ever feel like you keep giving your all to one person, and they never return that energy back? Do you ever feel like you are always putting an effort into your relationship either with your family, friends or partner? Do you ever feel empty? 

Maybe it is time to stop giving your all to a person who doesn't give you the time of day and just start living. I know, it's always hard letting go of someone, but why should we hold on to something that makes you feel horrible. Why hold on to something that doesn't deserve any of your time and effort. It's hard because I've been there before, but I had to change my mindset in order to let go of that negative energy. I am a strong girl who abides by one rule: "You treat me right, I'll treat you the same way." 

The transfer of energy is REAL! If you're constantly surrounded by, interacting with,having sex with, pouring yourself into an empty person(s), then eventually... They will SUCK you completely dry. KNOW YOUR WORTH! You can not be out here doing the same things expecting CHANGE. You can not surround yourself with stagnant energy and expect growth, wealth and success. 

Align yourself with people, places, and things that don't leave you spiritually skin and bones. 

Candice.C 

6 Guys You Shouldn't Date.

Some men have that natural charm and women tend to flock to them when given a chance. But there are some whom a woman would never want to be in proximity with. He's the guy who can be the reason behind a drastic change in moods. While you're wondering the kind of man you should hide from, here's the checklist of guys you should avoid.

1. Mr. Volatile

One moment, everyone's eyeing this extra caring, super-hot boyfriend of yours while the next, he's just indifferent and you're left wondering WTH just happened. We won't call this man one with mood swings because that is acceptable, considering how often we PMS. But he's the kind of a man who is so volatile, you'll have all the answers, yet be clueless about his weird behaviour.

2. The 'I-me-myself' guy

Go to a restaurant with him, he'll be kind enough to let you check the menu, but will choose what he wants. Talk to him over the phone, you'll find conversations start with how his day was and ends with the goals of his life. And while you're thinking of a beach destination for that annual relaxation holiday, you'll end up going to a desert just because he wants a camel ride. He's selfish. Stay with him to be unhappy for the rest of your life.

3. The 'Aww-I'm-just-a-kid' man

This guy just hasn't grown up. He's so happy extending his childhood days that he will mistake you for his momma. If you're willing to tie his shoelace, select clothes for that everyday outing of his, cook for him and feed him, among doing his other chores,I will say, go for him.

4. The sleaze-ball

He flirts with every woman on the planet - his receptionist, the waitress, the woman who comes to take out garbage, the stranger at the super market and even your best friend. His history can make you uncomfortable and you just know he's not the kind who'll be serious with anyone. Avoid this man who's only about sex, sex and just sex, unless you're looking for someone to play with too.

5. 'I-need-you-so-much' fella

This Mr Clingy is a total no-no to be with. He's so insecure and doubtful about things in life, all he's looking for is reassurance. And here's what he comes with: a truck full of emotions. Trust us, you wouldn't want to be a shoulder to this man, who goes sob, sniff, sob every single minute when he's with you.

6. The predictable guy

This one's as predictable as a bimonthly auto rickshaw fare hike in Delhi. You just know what he's thinking or is about to do. Yes, we're talking about (yawn) the guy who has just no surprises to offer you, because well, not only is he predictable, but he's way too boring, so much so that we know for certain you'll gauge him in just a month.

What's the real essence of Beauty?

It's 7:00AM. 

You wake up. 

You quickly rush to the mirror.

What you see in this silver exact object, upsets you. 

Your face, your eyes, your ears, your nose. 

Your arms, your waist, your thighs, your ankles. 

All you can do is stare....

Stare at this living human being

With a beating heart,

But that doesn't satisfy you. 

You are still upset with your reflection, 

Upset at yourself

Upset at how you look like. 

People continuously comment on your features:

They continuously comment on how you're too:

Skinny,fat,ugly,normal,bland,boring.

All these comments can have an effect on people, everyday society is judging you based on your looks and not on your personality. I guess the saying goes: "What you see is what you get.", but is it really? Surely after a period of time these "looks" fade away and the only thing you are left with is the soul and personality of the person. So why is it worth to judge a person on their looks when it is not going to be there forever? Why must a person constantly have to look in the mirror every single day to wonder whether society will accept us or not. I'm not trying to make people feel guilty, but all I'm simply trying to do is to make people aware of what they say and the impact their words can have. After all it is words that have a stronger and much more detrimental effect on ones psychological and social well being. All I'm stating in this article is to accept people for who they are. No matter where they are from, no matter how they look like, no matter what size they are, I still believe that everyone is beautiful. And it just takes one to see the essence of that real beauty. Being beautiful is not wearing heavy makeup or wearing expensive designer clothes, or having boobs hanging out of your shirt, or your ass hanging out of shorts. Beauty does not require any of these possessions. It just requires an awareness of self and the confidence of knowing that you are beautiful. 

Just remember, EVERYTIME you see yourself in the mirror, don't be upset. Simply smile at yourself and be proud of who you are. 

After all you are going to be stuck with the body you have, might as well treat it with love. 

Love

Candice.C

Looks or Personality?

I've been rather busy and I have to apologize for that, my life has been caught up in school. BUT now I'm back and I'm discussing a topic that for a few people can have a huge effect on their self Esteem. So here's my question to you: Do you go for looks or personality? And be honest, because I think it's time that people finally realize the true beauty of inner beauty and not outer beauty. Yeah sure you should be attracted to the person you like, but does their looks have to be an requirement for you to at least be friends or even more? Recently I went to a party, and this guy had told me that I'm not the most attractive girl here but I am friendly. My response: What the Cabbage? What do my looks have to do with anything? So there I was talking to a pretty decent guy...feeling not good enough. Yes, the very confident Candice felt like dirt. All because a guy told me that I didn't pass his requirements to be his friend or more? And that had taken its toll on me, every time I wake up in the morning, I don't feel good enough, every time I have a conversation with a guy the thoughts that play in my head are: "He doesn't find you attractive, so why bother?" But why should I be taken a back by a guy who only meet me? Wise words from my mom : "Personality is the most important thing because at the end of the day that's the only thing that'll never change" If you still think that looks are important, then that is your decision, I'm not trying to change your views but I am trying to make you aware of what effect you can have on people, even though you think you don't you still do. And I end off with a thought: Would you rather have a boyfriend/ girlfriend who's dorky, but a total sweetheart? Or would you have a really hot guy/girl who is a player and flirts with everyone ? (Might be a generalization, but half of the time it is true). Think about that. 

Till Next Time and I mean it this time...  (1 August 2013)

Love 

Candice