Why Do Men Only Want A Party In Our Pants?

Before I start with this post, I just wanted to put a Disclaimer out there, that this post is very very biased. I do not mean to offend the male entity, but I do mean to try and change the mindset of the male mind, and note I did say TRY.


It has come to my attention, that through my experience and through my close friends experiences, the men in our lives tend to just want to have a party in our pants. Now as I sit here and type out this blog, I recently had a conversation with a guy that I have known for some time. And luckily (this barely happens), he asked me to drinks for Sunday evening. I wasn't really feeling it, but I decided to wait before responding too soon.

But...
Then I really got to thinking.


What else are you supposed to do when you're hungover, watching soccer or rugby? There is only one reason a guy would want to go out on a Sunday night: because he didn't get laid over the weekend. Boom. I am a freaking genius and my thoughts should be compared to those of Aristotle. (Not really).

When I suggested to meeting on a different night during the week, I was left with no response, which completely proved my theory. He didn't want drinks, he didn't want conversation, he just wanted to get laid. No hard feelings though, I am glad I was The One you wanted and sorry I wasn't coherent enough the first time we met.

Back to the topic at hand, seriously though, why do guys always just want sex? My one friend said: "I thought guys in the real world would have developed hobbies and interests other than vaginas." Sadly, that does not seem like the case. Whatever happened to meet ups and shared interests? If I want to go see a movie that I know we'd enjoy together, that doesn't mean I also want to sleep with you afterwards, and you men should be okay with that.

I understand that we're young, we're having fun, and we're all trying our best, but getting laid shouldn't always be the end game. Since when did "wanting to be social" and "wanting to bang" become synonymous with each other?
GIRLS, we need to start telling the truth. These silly excuses like: "I have my period;" "My dad hot-glued my private parts." Why do we say those things instead of telling the truth? Because of years of hearing that guys "get insecure" has trained us not to hurt a mans ego. Please. Not wanting to have a "party in my pants" and then kick me out of your apartment has nothing to do with your ego.

The Bottom Line from my Girlfriends:
#1

Stay true to what you want. Let a guy woo you and only have sex with him when it feels right for you. 

#2

Just go with the flow and let them use you for sex. Eventually you will find the guy that likes you for who you are. 

#3

A guy can't use you for sex unless you allow them to. Take responsibility for your own actions before its too late. 

#4

You just have to find the right guy. Tell them you aren't going to have sex if they ask. Don't worry you will eventually find the right guy. 

#5

Guys like him need Jesus. Go to Church or find a gym or go the library to avoid these people. 

But to you men, the next time you meet a girl, try and have a decent conversation without having to talk about 'the party'.

Till Next Time...
C

Hope.

I hope you fall in love with someone who always texts back and never lets you fall asleep thinking you are unwanted. 

I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies, who holds your hand when life is also too, scary. 

I hope you fall in love with someone who see galaxies in your eyes and hears music in your heartbeats. 

I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and easy ones. 

But beyond all, I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind or take you for granted, someone who will stand by you when you are right and stand by you when you are wrong, someone who has seen you at your worst and has loved you still, someone who won't use you for their own personal agenda. 

I hope

You fall for someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you in the cold. 

And wouldn't have you any other way. 

This is All.

If you're laying in bed

wrapped up in sheets 

of miserable thoughts 

Go to sleep 

If thumbing through old messages

only causes your heart to ache

and long for something unattainable

Erase them 

If it hurts to keep 

everything you're feeling 

bottled up inside

Let it out

If you're clinging onto someone 

that doesn't treat you like 

you're worth the world

Let them go 

because sometimes 

we choose to believe 

that things are only 

indistinguishable shades of grey 

when in reality, 

life is more black and white 

than it seems

If you're unhappy 

with the way 

you are living your life

Change it

Soulmates: A Reality or A Torture Device?

"According to Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two seperate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." - Plato's The Symposium

When do you know that this person that you call 'other half' is really as people call it now a days: "the one". What reliable process does a person retain in order to know that their other half is the person that they plan on spending their entire life with. But I guess as my friend said recently, "when you know, you know". I'm just not sure that's enough information to tell oneself that this is your soulmate.

Society today has thrown this term 'soulmate' so loosely that I think people don't really know exactly what it is. Many of us have pondered on this concept, but honestly what is a soul mate? Do I have one? And if so, where is mine? The idea that there is one special person created just for you, is just a very very scary thought. 

Love is not logical, it is of the soul. Soulmates are brought into your life so that you can grow and expand into the best version of yourself. 

So, when do you know that you've stumbled across this soulmate of yours? 

Simply put, you don't. That's what makes the journey of love so exciting. You can be attracted to any person, you could have the same interests and hobbies, but that doesn't necessarily make them your soulmate. Your soulmate is your "other you", and no matter when you find them, they are always worth the wait.

But until then, we are searching or waiting for the one to arrive and let's just hope that 'the one' makes a grand entrance upon arrival. 

Till Next Time:

C

Love Knows No Color

I have been away for some time and now I'm back, with a topic that I've finally been waiting to write about. 

I am blessed to live in a beautiful and diverse country in which people are able to express themselves through art,music,dance,rhetoric etc. I am blessed to live in a country where it is filled with people who have come from dissimilar walks of life, but sadly enough, these diverse unique people are too afraid to share their life with another person who happens to be of a different race or religion. It upsets me that in a diverse country, people are too 'afraid' and this leaves me wondering, are we really diverse as we state we are? Are we really willing to accept each other's values and embrace each other's heritages? 

Recently I was engaged in a discussion with a "vanilla" boy who told me that he could never date out of his race as he is too afraid of what will happen. Another conversation happened with a "chocolate" girl who believed that dating out of your race means that you wouldn't see eye to eye as white and black are two different colors. In the 21st century, it is shocking to see that color/race is still an important concept. Surely if I have the same blood color and other features that equate to being termed as "human", then surely color shouldn't be an issue. 

So I provide a challenge to you, my fellow reader. Imagine a situation where you are in a relationship with a person who is of different race or religion to you and imagine the person being the perfect compatiable match that you are looking for. Imagine this situation, and ask yourself would you proceed in this great relationship based on the persons character that could bestow a great relationship or would you simply admit defeat based on the conclusion that this persons skin color clouds your judgement.

I am a black woman who likes white, colored and Indian men. It doesn't mean that I don't like my own race. It means I'm a black woman who doesn't let race get in the way of my happiness. 

Don't let that happen to you. Be open minded. See the world differently. 

14 Reasons to Celebrate your singleness this Valentines Day

Valentines day is coming up and a lot of people have been talking about being forever alone(like me) and not being able to do something on the 14th of February. But after being single for a very long time, I came to realize that it isn't a bad thing after all. So I came across fourteen reasons why you should be happy that you are single! 

1) You're so brave, you'd rather walk alone than with someone who is unworthy of you. 

2) Because you realize that you are the cake and a relationship is the icing... And with or without the icing, a cake is still a cake! 

3) Because you have created a life that you love and feel no need to be rescued from. 

4) Because you pay your own bills, plan your own day, chart your own path, and make your own way. 

5) Because you love when you're ready, not when you're lonely. 

6) Because you live life on your own terms and you don't apolgize. 

7) Because you know that you have to learn to LOVE you before you can ask someone else to. 

8) Because good enough isn't "good enough" for you. 

9) Because you have decided that whether or not love ever arrives... You're going to THRIVE. 

10) Because your happiness, worth, and self-confidence is not dependent on your relationship status. 

11) Because you trust in perfect timing, you know that every moment of the wait is preparing you for the one you're waiting for. 

12) Because for you, settling is not an option. 

13) Because you know it's no one's job to complete you, fix you, or validate you. It takes a healthy "me" to make a healthy "we." 

14) And because being single is not as bad as people make it out to be. 

Single or not, enjoy the 14th of Feb. Love yourself, celebrate the love you share with others. 

Love

Candice.C

Out with the Old & In with the New

Do you ever feel like you keep giving your all to one person, and they never return that energy back? Do you ever feel like you are always putting an effort into your relationship either with your family, friends or partner? Do you ever feel empty? 

Maybe it is time to stop giving your all to a person who doesn't give you the time of day and just start living. I know, it's always hard letting go of someone, but why should we hold on to something that makes you feel horrible. Why hold on to something that doesn't deserve any of your time and effort. It's hard because I've been there before, but I had to change my mindset in order to let go of that negative energy. I am a strong girl who abides by one rule: "You treat me right, I'll treat you the same way." 

The transfer of energy is REAL! If you're constantly surrounded by, interacting with,having sex with, pouring yourself into an empty person(s), then eventually... They will SUCK you completely dry. KNOW YOUR WORTH! You can not be out here doing the same things expecting CHANGE. You can not surround yourself with stagnant energy and expect growth, wealth and success. 

Align yourself with people, places, and things that don't leave you spiritually skin and bones. 

Candice.C