This is Male Privilege

It is so hard for people to understand subtle things. 

I have had to explain this notion to numerous male acquaintances and I am hoping that a blog post would create a better understanding. Please understand that in no way am I attacking the male entity, but I am just giving a voice to the subject that needs enlightenment.

So first and foremost: Male Privilege. And yes, if you are a guy you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, I don't have privilege because of my gender, I also have struggles. But just hear me out. Awareness is the first step, and by disregarding an experience won't help you. It is easy to rattle off examples, but when it comes to actually understanding how these examples affect your life, and how your engagement with them affects others, it is a different story. I am not speaking on behalf of ALL women, however, I am giving a personal take on male privilege. It is not right, it is not normative.
By highlighting this problem, we (women) are not just saying "this is wrong, so let's fix it." Instead, we're inviting you to consider the impact of gender inequality on your life and I am encouraging you to make a change for your sake and for the sake of your community and humanity.

I am sure many women have had experiences in which they are have been approached in public by men who enter their private space and comment on their physical appearance. This has happened to me countless of times. My own personal experience of this occurred yesterday after my long day at university. I proceeded to my car and a male stranger entered my private space to tell me that "my butt needs to be put to better use." But even in broad daylight, with many students around, I still felt uncomfortable to call him out on his behaviour. I simply decided to laugh and say "Thanks." I felt really sad at that very moment, that I couldn't stand up to him because I did not feel safe and that my laughing to him could be misconstrued as being okay with that experience and not just a defense mechanism ingrained into me by society.

Later that day, when explaining this incident to a male friend, I was simply told that: "He was just complimenting you and your physicality, Candice. There is nothing to get angry at." To him, it was all the proof he needed that my view that all types of "compliments", especially from male strangers to females, that being uncomfortable was ridiculous. The very fact that my feminity is meant to attract and please men led me to another realization this week.

It made me realize that most people think feminity is an act to impress men. It also made me realize that there are a lot of people who are convinced that men and women are completely equal in modern society. Like my law lecturer from last year said, the law exists, but what practical function does it hold in society. So yes, you could argue that women have many laws and rights that protect them, but what about societies mental perceptions and ills? Where is the protection in that? This belief that "women have it easy" is a ludicrous assertion.

Male privilege is a direct consequence of Patriarchy. In modern society, men will always be placed on the top. Men consistently achieve, succeed and benefit at the expense of every other gender.

This is male privilege.

But here is the thing, male privilege funny enough hurts everyone, including you. This is because accessing and deconstructing the concept often requires you to conform to a toxic norm of masculinity. And we all know this norm, the idea that "real men" are the ones who don't show their emotions, who solely value sports and physical strength, who don't reach out for help when they need support.

And I also know that no man completely fits into this narrow box of masculinity and that our society is unforgiving toward people who don't fit what they're supposed to be. (If you don't believe me, read my post: The P Word: Dissecting Patriarchy 101 for beginners).

So we have to face the ways traditional masculinity is rewarded with privilege in order to liberate everyone from the painful trap of societies oppressive boxes.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A BAD PERSON TO BENEFIT FROM MALE PRIVILEGE, AND RECOGNIZING YOUR PRIVILEGE DOES NOT MEAN SAYING YOU DO NOT DESERVE GOOD THINGS.  (You dig?)

But once you understand that these often invisible perks are not available to everyone, you can see why addressing privilege means recognizing that people of ALL genders deserve equal access to basic respect for our humanity.

(And I am so happy that you are this far into the article and reading it, you are taking steps to make a change). 

Let us acknowledge that male privilege is real. I will list and give you examples of what privilege looks like, however, it will not give an explanation as to what privilege really means. Examples of male privilege demonstrate how the patriarchy shows up - but they are not representations of every man's life, at every moment. They are not things that only men have ever experienced.

IT IS JUST MORE LIKELY THAT YOU WILL GET THESE BENEFITS IF YOU ARE A MAN BECAUSE THEY ARE SUPPORTED BY THE SYSTEM OF PATRIARCHY. 

A man walking alone at night generally has the privilege of not being targeted for gender-based violence, BUT a man of color may have to worry about being targeted for racist violence. A gay man could be the target of homophobic violence. My point here is that there are other systems of oppression because patriarchy does not exist in a vacuum. And also, my point is to show how intersectionality (how different forms of systemic oppression intersect) matters.

Our experiences in childhood and education plant the seeds for our identities throughout our entire lives.

So let's play a game called spot the male privilege! 

1. People give you toys that are more likely to be education toys to develop a range of skills, and to let you imagine a range of career possibilities - while toys considered "girl toys" are often limited to beauty, housework and childcare.
2. You can be assertive without being told to "not be so bossy."
3. Adults compliment you more for your abilities rather than only your looks, and you are not taught that the important thing about you is your appearance.
4. School dress codes don't suggest that your body is inherently shameful or unprofessional, unlike girls who are told that it's up to them to cover up - "remember ladies the four finger principle with your skirts that your counselors did in high school?" or "remember how girls could not wear colorful bras, as it would distract students from learning?"
5. You can make choices to have both career and family without people assuming it is a challenge or an unusual achievement for you to have it all.
6. You can get upset at work without people blaming your emotions on "hormones," "PMS," or "being oversensitive."
7. Your gender is more represented in higher paid positions. For instance, women are fewer than 5% of Fortune 500 CEOS.
8. A character of your gender in an ensemble cast (Marvel/DC comics) is less likely to be objectified as a sex symbol in posters and advertisements like women superheroes are.
9. You are more likely to be congratulated for having lots of sex, rather than shamed for it or called a slut.
And lastly: You are not expected to change your name if you get married or questioned if you don't.

(If you want a much more comprehensive list, feel free to ask me.)

So I like to end my blogs off with an idealistic image that things could change. However, I believe that this is the world we are living in, inequality from casual interactions that are deeply entrenched with gender norms, creating social, legal and health consequences for people who are not men.

I think the best we "woke" kids/adults can do is build awareness. Sharing resources to raise awareness and it is also important that you notice how we are contributing to these harmful cultural norms.